They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
