I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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