I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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