you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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