wrigley field is MILF paradise
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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