It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
