is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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