I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize