So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
