chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
