dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
