i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
