haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
