Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
