No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
