It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
