a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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