Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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