new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
