Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
