He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like iHOP with fire
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
