Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
