So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
