yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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