your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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