i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize