I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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