We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
