I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
