I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
