you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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