dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Randomize
