I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
