I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
soo... how was my night?
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