ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
