her vagine was all disorganized.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
