last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
