Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
