remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My ass is underappreciated
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
