i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
