i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
