weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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