Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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