Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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