So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
