can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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