im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
