i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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