god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
