I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
