It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
