Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
