Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
