I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
