if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
