oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize