quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
