The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize