He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
