ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
