It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize