i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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