Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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