if you like me you must not know who I am
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
