I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize