You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
