we're chasing vodka with high fives
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
