Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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