My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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