Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
