they need to just BURY HIM!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
