I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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