I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
