Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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