it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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