i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Randomize
