Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
