We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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