We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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